924073
by littlee0618
Summary: The label read a bunch of numbers, 924073. That's all his wife was to this older man in front of him. A six digit number. But to him, she was his Rachel. The woman he loved. The woman he let go, set free. The woman who had come back to him. The woman who was his forever. His destiny, his life. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Not to them.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Don't hate me. This story just came to me. Your support and reviews are appreciated! I don't own anyone related to glee or any plot points that may resemble those on glee. They are mainly for reference. I do however, own any original characters. I also don't claim to be a doctor of medicine, so any mistakes are mine.

**924073**

**Chapter One**

Finn twisted the wedding band around on his finger half a dozen or so times, his leg bouncing and just a general sense of worry and uneasiness filled him.

Until he felt her hand cover his, causing all movements going on to cease.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

His eyes shot up from where they had been staring at the floor and he came face to face with the owner of the hand.

His wife.

God. His beautiful, gorgeous, talented, _young_ wife.

Did he mention it wasn't supposed to happen like this?

They shouldn't be sitting here in silence, as if they were waiting to be led to the guillotine.  
"It's going to be okay" She whispered, linking her fingers with his. Her own voice was thick with worry and emotion. He looked deep in her eyes, just stared into her dark brown eyes searching for something, anything to hold onto.  
"How can you say that?" He whispered, his voice catching. "Rach, how can you say that?"  
"Because I'm trying to believe it...okay?" She closed her eyes, her fingers clutching his. "I just...I need it to be okay. I need to believe it will be okay after all"

They had only had eight years together. Eight. That wasn't near enough, not even close. It had been only eight years since she had stormed down the halls of McKinley High School, an accomplished Broadway star fresh off her Tony win for best lead actress for her portrayal of Fanny Brice in Funny Girl, threw open the door to his office and announced that she. was. home. And she would be his, and he would be hers.

It had only been seven years and eleven months since he'd whisked her away to Maui and married her on a beach with no one around except an officiant and the sound of the soft waves lapping at their bare feet.

It had only been seven years since they'd welcomed their little girl. And even less since they'd expanded their family to include two little boys with their mama's smile and a floppy eared dog who was man's best friend.

They had a life. They had a family. They had dreams.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

The doctor returned to the office where they had been sequestered. When the symptoms had appeared and persisted, she'd sought the best care, the best money could buy in all of Ohio. They'd traveled to Cincinnati for tests and examinations and it was where they sat now. The doctor, Finn swore his name was Dr. Lane, sat in front of them behind a big mahogany desk with a file in his hand. The label read a bunch of numbers, 924073. That's all his wife was to this older man in front of him. A six digit number. But to him, she was his Rachel. The woman he loved. The woman he let go, set free. The woman who had come back to him and their little Podunk town after she'd conquered the world and changed his. The woman who was his forever. His destiny, his _life_.

The older man looked at the pair of them, a sad look on his face. Finn felt Rachel grab his fingers tighter, squeezing the life out of his skin and bones. Just as she had each time she'd delivered all three of his healthy, large children. But this was different. This wasn't to inflict equal pain. This was to feel weighted, grounded. Real. Safe.

"Mrs. Hudson" Dr. Lane began, addressing Rachel before clearing his throat. "Mr. Hudson. There is no easy way to say this. All of the tests and examinations have indicated that you do have ovarian cancer."

Finn felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. He turned to take in Rachel's face, the squeezing on his hand increasing was an indication that she was letting the words sink in, her jaw was clenched and her eyes were closed. He rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do? This was his wife! This didn't happen to Finn Hudson's wife, other men's, stronger men's wives but not his. Not his Rachel. He watched her suck in a breath, her perfect lips puckering before she blew out a breath and opened her eyes.  
"How are we going to beat this?" She whispered. Atta girl.

It wasn't going to be easy. No, it wasn't. Dr. Lane had informed them that while they had gotten to him and to medical help in a timely manner, the form of ovarian cancer Rachel was diagnosed with had formed tumors on the outside of her ovaries that were called epithelial tumors and was already starting to spread to other nearby organs. They'd found cancerous cells in her uterus as well as the effected ovaries. Rachel not only had ovarian cancer, but she had stage two ovarian cancer.

Finn's hands felt clammy as Dr. Lane spoke about the specifics of the cancer that was infecting his wife. He shuddered as he thought about it.

"Survival rate" She whispered as he continued to talk to them about the results. "I have young children. What is my survival rate."  
"I don't like to speculate until we've determined a treatment plan..."  
"Please." Her voice was laced with the tears he knew she was determined to keep at bay. "Before we go further. I need to know what I'm looking at..."  
"Between 74-76%, according to research and providing you respond well to treatment"  
"So how do you propose we fight this?" Rachel jutted out her chin much like she did when she was determined to do something. "I will be in that 76%."  
Dr. Lane removed his glasses and took in the young couple in front of him. He knew from her file that Rachel was early in her thirties and he assumed Finn was as well. They had a whole life in front of them, Rachel had told him all about the three children they were trying to raise to be good people, two boys who liked to play football with Daddy and a little girl who loved ballet. This was the part of his job he didn't like. Destroying families, killing dreams while trying to keep the keeper of those dreams alive and well.  
"I'd like to start with surgery, removing the ovaries along with your fallopian tubes and your uterus..."

Rachel felt hot, listening to the doctor talk but not really receiving the message that was being delivered. All that she heard in her head were words like _cancer, surgery, ovaries, 76%_. It didn't feel or seem real. She was going to wake up any moment, the last few weeks of her life with the pain and illnesses would be a distant dream and she would be back at home making vegan mac and cheese for her family. This was all going to be a dream that she was going to wake up from.  
"So essentially, this cancer is going to rob me of everything that makes me a woman..." She said quietly. She felt Finn run his fingers over her knuckles. She couldn't look at him.

* * *

They sat in the van. They'd left the doctor's office silently, and had gotten into their minivan and drove, starting the 2 hour trek back to their hometown. Drove until Rachel broke down and asked Finn to pull over, off the highway. So that's what he did. He followed her lead. So they sat in the van, both staring out the windshield as the rain poured down on the van neither saying a word.

"I have cancer." She whispered, so lightly Finn had to strain his ears to hear her. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he listened to her. He heard her voice shake as she repeated the words a second time. He turned his body as much as he could in his seat and took her hand in his. She laced her fingers through his as they sat there, much like she did at the doctor's office. But she didn't meet his gaze, she just continued to look forward. "Finn..." She swallowed the lump in her throat, he heard her voice waver. He knew her strength was depleting. "Finn...I have cancer. What are we going to do?"

The sob that was released from her lips next was soul shattering, heart breaking and torture to his ears. She leaned onto the console in front of her and sobbed, her shoulder length brown hair coming to curtain her face. Her shoulders shook with sobs and she'd lost the hold on his hand. It was finally sinking in. Strong, determined Rachel was gone. Emotional, terrified and uncertain Rachel appeared in her place. His heart shattered as he listened to her and his hand immediately went to her back. She jolted as his touch for a moment but settled immediately afterwards. He grabbed for her hips and pulled her over the center console and into his lap. She buried her head into his chest, his arms coming around her body and his face burying in her hair. It was only then that he let his own tears and emotions bubble over. He couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore than she could. He kissed her head several times over before nuzzling his face into her neck, making her look up at him.

He swallowed the lump in his throat but the tears didn't stop. "We're going to fight this. We're going to fight this like the Hudson's we are. And we're going to kick cancer's ass." She managed a weak smile at the sentiment before placing a soft kiss on his lips before resting her head on his chest again.  
"It's going to be okay Rach. I promise."

When they'd collected themselves the best that they could, Rachel slid back into her seat and they silently continued on with their drive back to Lima.  
"Can you take me home first?" Rachel whispered as they had crossed the city limits. They had planned to go together to his parent's house to collect their three children. Maybe even have dinner there.  
But now things were different.  
Now she had cancer. She just wanted to sink into a bubble bath and never surface.  
"Are you sure?" He asked carefully. "I'm sure Mom made..."  
"Please." She begged. "I just...I can't face anyone right now. Just drop me at home please and go get my babies."  
He nodded, hearing the absolute desperation in her voice.  
"Of course. I'll bring home dinner too...okay? Maybe Chinese from..."  
"I'm not hungry. You can take the kids to McDonald's if you want..." Her voice was soft, emotion laden.  
"I'll bring you a sal..."  
"It's fine Finn. Really."

He pulled into their cul de sac before he could further the conversation. She opened the door and walked the few steps from the van to the front door quickly. He saw how hunched her shoulders were and he wanted nothing more than to just run up the driveway and wrap her in his arms. But he had to get the kids. That's what she wanted. Probably what she needed. They needed normal, even if it was just one facet.  
He made sure she was in the house before backing out of the driveway again and making the short drive to his mother and stepfather's house. They'd agreed to watch the kids today while Finn and Rachel made the trip to Cincinnati. He knew he was going to get it when he got there, his mother would have a million questions. They'd known Rachel had been sick and he knew where everyone's mind went when they found out Rachel was sick with anything other than the sniffles. Babies. Everyone assumed they were having another baby, even though they had insisted time and time again that they were done. Over. That was it. Rachel had had difficult pregnancies each time, given that each of their children, even their little girl had been huge.

He pulled into his parents driveway and parked the van. He stretched when he was out of the van and slowly walked up the drive slowly. He blew out a breath when he came to the door and took a beat before opening it. He was immediately met with the cacophony of noise his children were making and his heart ached. He followed the noise and found them in the living room playing Wii sports with his step-father and mother. His seven year old, Bianca was the first one to notice his presence after a good few minutes.  
"Daddy!" She dropped the remote she was holding and clamored to the other side of the room where her father was standing.  
"Hey baby girl" He smiled softly as the tall little girl launched herself at him. He kissed her head as he watched the game end and the rest of the family turn their attention to him. His mother, Carol smiled as the two little boys, Bryce and Brayden attacked his legs.  
"Where's Rach?' She smiled, ruffling Brayden's hair.  
"Oh. I dropped her off at home. She was really tired after drive..." He nudge to the kids and sent them to get their shoes and coats on while Burt joined Carol and Finn.  
"So...what did the doctor say?" Carol looked at him curiously.  
Finn rubbed the back of his neck. "I...Listen, she didn't want me to say anything. But will you guys come over tomorrow night? For dinner?" Carol eyed her son suspiciously.  
"Of course. Is everything okay?"  
Finn sighed. "It will be." He repeated his words again with more confidence but he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince more, his parents or himself. He just hoped he was right. Remember, it wasn't supposed to happen like this.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I haven't really thought about how this story is going to end. So I guess we'll all find out where it goes, together?  
As always, I don't own anyone who appears or is related to glee. Any references to plot lines are for just that, reference. I don't pretend to own them but I do own the plot of this story and any and all original characters that appear. I also don't claim to be a doctor, so any medical mistakes are mine.

**Chapter 2**

She didn't want to tell the kids. He didn't disagree with her, but he also thought that they should at least know that Mommy was sick. But she flat out disagreed.

She wanted to protect her babies. Didn't want them to know that anything was wrong in their perfect bubble of a life. She needed to be in control of one thing, and if whether or not her perfect babies knew about the dangerous toxin flowing through her veins was the only thing she could control at the moment then she was going to take it and run. She knew she would have to tell them at some point, by why scare them? Why mare their childhood with the ugly word _cancer _ if she didn't have to, she was going to beat it any way. She knew she was going to beat it. She had to.

She got up the next morning though, in a sort of trance. She sat up and ran her fingers through her shoulder length brown hair and blinked a few times to get her focus. Finn wasn't in bed beside her and she could hear the voices of her family coming from the kitchen, the noises floating up the stairwell and down the hallway into her bedroom. She swung her legs over the side of her bed, grabbing her hair elastic from the night stand before slipping her feet into the slippers by her bed. She fastened her hair back as she stood up to head into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She leaned on the vanity, staring into the mirror. She sighed as she took in her appearance. The bags under her eyes, fine lines on her forehead from the stress of raising three kids in the last eight years.  
She shook her head, trying not to think about the changes that were going to happen. She didn't want to think about the fact that the surgery she would receive and the chemotherapy that would follow were probably going to drastically alter her body. But anything was better than having the diseases ravaging her body. Anything was better than even the mere thought of leaving her family behind. She would fight, and she would fight hard. She was Rachel Hudson after all. And that's what she did, fought like hell against every adversity that stood in her way.

The pain and discomfort had started a little over a month ago, but she really took notice to them as they had persisted past a week's time. She'd contributed most of them to just getting her period, but when it came and went and the symptoms of exhaustion, no appetite and the abdominal bloating stuck around you could say she was concerned. And that's when she'd called her doctor who had immediately referred her to Dr. Lane when she couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. Well, it's not that she couldn't figure out what was wrong. Their doctor had had her suspicions. But Dr. Lane was better equipped with tests, procedures and information. But she'd never dreamed it would be real. She never dreamed she would get cancer at the young age of 31. Which is why she had to fight. And fight hard. She had too much life left to live.

She washed her face quickly, practiced a bright smile and headed out of the bathroom and walked down the stairs to join her family.

She smiled when she walked into the spacious kitchen and saw her family. All three of her kids were sitting around the table, digging into homemade waffles that Finn made every Saturday morning.  
"Well it looks like we're having fun in here!"  
All activity stopped as the three kids turned and looked at their mother.  
"Mommy!" Brayden giggled. "Daddy made waffles!"  
"I see that" She walked over to him and pressed a kiss on his head. "Are they yummy?"  
"Of course!" He giggled, lifting his little forkful of waffle with syrup to his mouth. She smiled at him before moving around the table and kissing all of her kids on the head before moving to Finn and wrapping her arms around his waist. She kissed his shoulder blade.  
"Morning babe" She whispered. She ran her finger up his arm. He put the spatula down from the pan of bacon he was tending to. He turned around and wrapped her in his arms.  
"Morning sweetheart" He pressed a kiss to her head, holding her close to him for a moment.  
"Why did you let me sleep so late?" She yawned, looking up at him as she covered her mouth.  
"Cause you need it" He whispered in her ear. "Plus, it's not that late. It's only 9:30" He laughed. "Still plenty of time before Bianca's ballet starts." He patted her waist. "Now go sit, I have some waffles for you."  
"With jam?"  
"Always" He smiled as he let her go, and watched her go and sit with their children. It was mornings like this that he loved, lazy slow ones with a good home cooked breakfast and just good old fashioned family time. It was his favourite part of the week.

* * *

That evening, after a day spent carting Bianca to ballet and Bryce and Brayden to respective basketball practices, Finn stood in the kitchen watching over the vegetable casserole he was making in anticipation of their parents coming over.  
"Daddy?" Bianca caught his attention as she walked into the kitchen. Finn closed the oven door and dropped the oven mitt he had on his hand.  
"Yeah princess?"  
"Why are Nana, Papa, Grandpa and Grandad coming over?" She asked, playing with her fingers. "We just saw Nana and Papa yesterday..."  
Finn gave his daughter a half smile, one that they both shared. "They're just coming over for dinner. Just a nice family night. Isn't that nice?"  
Bianca nodded. She loved having her family over, even if seeing some of them twice in one week was a little unusual. "Okay."  
"What are you guys up to down there?" He asked, changing the subject knowing that when his kids were down in their playroom alone they sometimes got up to no good.  
"Nothing. The boys are playing with lego and I was just doing my princess puzzle" She paused, her eyes widening after a moment. "I should go make sure they're not touching it!" She skipped out of the room before she could hear him agree with her. The boys were nothing more sometimes than typical younger brothers. He chuckled as he watched her run off, her long brown hair flying behind her.

Rachel bustled into the kitchen, fresh from a shower. She smiled softly when she saw Finn chopping a tomato for the salad to go with the casserole.  
"Babe, I can do that." She sighed, coming over to him.  
"It's alright. I've got it all under control. Why don't you go relax?" He smiled.  
Rachel eyed him. "I don't need to relax. I just had a shower. Let me help."  
"Rach, seriously. The casserole's in the oven, I'm just making the salad and then all that's left is to set the table..."  
"Then I can do that..." She moved to go to the cupboards and started pulling out enough plates and glasses to set the table with.  
"Rach...seriously."  
"No Finn. You, seriously. I don't need to relax."  
He dropped the knife and turned around to look at her. "Rach..." He dropped his voice so it was only possible for him to hear her. "You have cancer..."  
"I feel fine Finn. Better than I have in a few days actually. Just a little back pain. I can set the damn table..." She stomped around him and grabbed the stack of plates.  
"Rach..."  
"Don't Finn. Just don't." He watched her walk into the dining room that they pretty much only used when they had their family over before shaking his head and going back to chopping up the tomato. Did he ever mention his wife was a force to be reckoned with sometimes? He went about finishing up the salad, before wrapping it with plastic wrap so he could store it in the fridge until they were ready to serve dinner. He washed his hands quickly and walked into the dining room, just as Rachel was walking around the table folding napkins and setting the cutlery. He walked up behind her and stopped her by wrapping his arms around her waist. She set the napkin she was holding and leaned back into his embrace as he nuzzled his face in her neck.  
"I love you" He whispered as his lips grazed against her skin. She brought her hand up to touch his chin.  
"I love you too." She sighed.  
"I'm just worried about you" He murmured into her ear. He felt her slump a little against him and sigh. She turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close to her. She pressed her cheek close to his so her lips were near his ear. His hands captured her waist and ran his fingers over her hipbone.  
"I'm worried about me too" She admitted, whispering into his ear. She pulled away a little bit. "But I'm going to beat this. We're going to beat this. But you have to let me live my life too Finn. I'm not a China doll, I'm not going to break from setting the table or helping with dinner." She looked him in the eye. "Cancer is not going to take me away from you guys. I'm going to have the surgery and the chemo and we'll be on our way..."  
"How can you be so sure?" He implored, his eyes searching hers. He saw that hardened determination there, but he also saw a trace of doubt and fear. Though he knew she wouldn't admit it. She was Rachel Hudson, to admit defeat and terror were among the lowest of lows.  
"Because I'm not going to let it." She said simply. She stood on her toes a little bit and pressed a kiss to his lips just as the doorbell rang. She pulled away from her husband and gave him a small smile as they heard their children stampeding up the stairs. "Now go protect whoever is here from our monsters while I finish the table." She patted his bum slightly as her hands fell from his neck. He chuckled, kissing her softly again before going to answer the door.

He had to shoo the kids away from the door to be able to open it and greet who was on the other side appropriately. He had to laugh as they watched his every move, opening the door to reveal Rachel's fathers.  
"Hey" He smiled at the two men in front of him. Over the last eight years things had really fallen into place with Rachel's fathers coming to terms with the fact that Finn was it for their little girl. And had always been it. There had been some bitterness when they'd returned from their impromptu trip to Maui after their hurried reconciliation and all of their parents had found out they'd tied the knot without anyone else there. But that had all faded when they'd welcomed Bianca soon afterwards. You could say she was the salve the family had needed to just...be the family they always should have been. "Come on in" He gestured, opening the door wider so that both Hiram and Leroy Berry could enter their modest house. As soon as the kids saw that it was their beloved Grandpa and Granddad, they all sprung into action. Finn watched as both Leroy and Hiram greeted each of his children with affectionate hugs and kisses and excited exclamations at what they were telling them. He couldn't have asked for anyone better to be grandfather's to his children. Even though they didn't get to see Rachel's fathers very often, each time they came to visit they always doted on the kids. As the kids dragged Leroy into the living room to see the Wii game they had set up, Hiram hung back and watched Finn as he hung up their coats in the hallway closet. Out of her two fathers, Finn got along the most with Hiram as they had more in common. Hiram had been the one to try and talk him out of putting Rachel on the train all those years ago, knowing how much it would break her heart and his as well. Even after 8 years, Leroy and Finn still didn't really see completely eye to eye, but were more friendly for the sake of the stability of the family.  
"How's it going Finn?" Hiram asked, leaning against the wall of the entry way.  
"You know, it's going" He tried to smile at his father-in-law. "Hectic, especially with the PA Day yesterday but we're surviving." Hiram nodded.  
They didn't have a chance to delve more into whatever Hiram was trying to get out of him, as Bianca came storming into the hallway and grabbed her grandpa's hand, insisting he come with her. Finn chuckled as he watched Hiram give in. When he saw Bianca act like that, he could only picture Rachel as a little girl. The two of them were like peas in a pod.

* * *

"Dinner was wonderful Rachel, thank you" Carol raved as the adults all sat in the living room, long after the kids had been put to bed. Carol, Hiram and Leroy with a glass of wine, Finn and Burt with a beer each. Rachel perched on the arm of the couch Finn was sitting on. She patted Finn's arm with a smile.  
"Don't thank me, Finn did all the work." She differed. "I just set the table." Finn smiled up at her and kissed her arm.  
Carol looked at her son. "Well Finn, that casserole was delicious."  
"Thanks Mom. Learned from the best" He tipped his beer to her before taking a swig. He looked up at Rachel and gave her a look that didn't go unnoticed by their parents. She bit her lip and slid down off the arm of the couch and onto Finn's lap.  
"I know usually we don't have to have a reason to invite you all over for dinner." She said softly. Finn toyed with the ends of her hair. She turned to look at him and he pressed a kiss to her cheek before allowing his free hand to grab hers. She looked around the room at the four older adults who were so important to her, meant so much to her. From her daddies to Carol and Burt, each person held a special place in her heart. She was beginning to feel her courage dwindling at the prospect of telling them about the cancer that was inhibiting her body. But she had to tell them, had to be in control. She was going to beat it. It wasn't going to take her life, wasn't going to take her from her family. It wasn't as grim as it seemed. People beat stage two ovarian cancer and lived to tell about it. She was going to be in that 76% of the people who did so. "But today we do..." She started. Finn rubbed her back. They had decided last night she would be the one to say the words. She needed to be in control. But Finn could tell her confidence in herself, her ability to win this fight, to tell their parents was wavering. He squeezed her hand.  
"Carol, Burt, you know we had you watch the kids yesterday. Under the pretense that we had to work..." She took a deep breath, taking another glance around the room.  
"We didn't have to work." She looked down at their entwined hands., his wedding band between their fingers catching the light from beside them. All of their parents were looking at them with a weird look of anticipation and worry. She sighed."We drove out to Cincinnati to see an oncologist by the name of Dr. Lane..." She waited for a moment, an accidental dramatic pause she hadn't meant to make. She let it sink it. She saw both her Daddies eyes glaze over, and the look of confusion that came over Burt's face. Carol bit her lip.  
"And..." She stumbled over the words, the tears coming to the surface of her eyes. She promised herself she wasn't going to cry, because this wouldn't end her. It was just a bump in the road, like a scrape you had to wait to heal. "And he diagnosed me with stage two ovarian cancer" She said after a few minutes, the words tumbling out of her mouth. She watched as the colour drained from all of their parents faces.

Cancer had been what had taken Burt's first wife, and her Dad's mother many years ago.

"I'm sorry honey, did you say cancer?" Carol asked, her voice thick. She could see from across the room the tears that were coming down her mother-in-laws cheeks.  
Rachel nodded slowly, leaning back to curl into Finn's body a little bit as tears started running down her cheeks. She'd done it, it was out. "I have cancer." She said simply. Finn sat down his beer bottle on the table beside him and wrapped his arms around his wife, burying his face in her hair much like he had did early.  
"You're going to fight this, right?" Hiram looked at his daughter intently. Both him and Leroy stood up and crossed the room to hug Rachel.  
"With every fibre of my being" She whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, I know this took forever and I'm really sorry about that! I have so many ideas floating around in my head that I feel like my mind is going a million miles an hour! I hope I'm doing each story and idea justice. Anyways, here is the next chapter. I apologize if it seems like I'm covering the same ground over and over in these first few chapters, but the way I look at it cancer is a scary thing and well, Finn and Rachel have been completely blindsided and are extremely emotional about the whole thing. I promise I'm going somewhere with this. PROMISE.

As always, I don't own Finn, Rachel or anyone related to glee. Anything similar to events that occurred on the show are for posterity's sake and the original ideas obviously are owned by RIB and Fox. The plot of the story, and any original characters are mine. And if you take them, well I might just go all Lime Heights Adjacent on your ass, so watch out. Anyways! On with the show!

* * *

**Chapter 3  
**  
After their parents had left the house, with promises to call, Finn and Rachel sat on the couch both staring off into space. Finn sipped at the last of his beer. She played with her fingers, twisting her wedding band around her finger. After a few beats of silence, Finn placed the bottle down on the table beside him before turning to his wife. He gently pulled her hands from her lap and entwined her fingers between his larger ones.  
"What's going through your mind?" He asked softly, seeing the faraway look in her eyes.  
She sighed, turning her face to look at him. She didn't hide that there were tears in the corner of her eyes. She didn't have to hide it anymore.  
"Well..." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm thinking about how well our parents took it, surprisingly."  
He nodded and squeezed her hands."I expected a lot more dramatics, at least from my dad's. But they seemed pretty stoic." He nodded again. He was sure the shock of their announcement had something to do with it.  
He knew that wasn't really it. He knew his wife. She wasn't okay, and the fact that her parents and his had taken the devastating news well, that couldn't be all that was on her mind.

"If I'm being honest..." She trailed off. "I'm a little scared." She felt him move a little closer to her, in an attempt to comfort her. She shrugged him off. "I'm not scared of the cancer, because I know I'm going to beat it" she said with an air of certainty. "I'm more scared about the surgery, being taken out of commission from our kids and just...losing everything inside me that makes me...you know, a woman."

Finn looked at Rachel and tried to come up with the words to say.  
"Rach..." He started. He let go of her hands and pulled her into his lap. She cuddled into his chest, burying her face in the comfort of his chest. It had broadened over the years, his habit of working out and running most week day morning's before work had paid off. Not that she hadn't loved his previous physique, but when she had returned it had been almost like a different, newly improved Finn had emerged in her absence. She remembered that day in the choir room fondly. Like it was only yesterday. It had been the beginning of her biggest dream yet.

_She pulled up in her dads car to the old familiar building that had been her saving grace, the place that had changed her life. She stepped out and slammed the door behind her, adjusting her sunglasses on her face. She blew out a breath, teetering a little on the heels she had chosen to wear. His heels. Well, they weren't his but she'd worn them at Mr. Shue's wedding and...She shook her head. She tightened the belt around her waist that tied her jacket together and clutched the car keys in her hand. She gained her strength and confidence before going for the entrance. Here went nothing._

Her heels clicked down the hallway. It was quiet, she had arrived just after dismissal time and she could only hope that she wasn't too late, that she hadn't missed him. She knew where his office was, he'd taken over for Mr. Shue as glee director when Mr. Shue had taken the principal position. Well, she'd heard that through the grapevine otherwise known as Santana Lopez.

She hoped he couldn't hear her, she was banking on the element of surprise. She had no idea if he knew her run had ended, she'd devoted 5 years of her life to the role, if you counted auditions and development and all that. But she had decided, that maybe it was time for something new. She had gotten her Tony out of it as well.

She came to the door the choir room and stepped inside when she saw it was empty. Or she had thought it was empty. She saw him at the white board, his arm outstretched as he wrote something out. From a far it looked like he was working out the set list for an upcoming show. If he heard her come in, he was doing a good job of ignoring her. From where she stood back by the door, she took him in. He looked good. Really good. Built, confident, in charge.  
She couldn't wait anymore. She needed to see him, feel him, touch him, talk to him.  
She cleared her throat. She watched as his arm fell and he turned around quickly in response. He dropped the dry erase marker that had been his hand and his eyes widened.  
"Hi." She whispered, her eyes taking him in. "I'm home." 

Finn held her against his chest as the tears began to spill from her eyes, remembering that day. The day that had brought them back to each other. And now nature was trying to take her out, take her away from him and their three beautiful children. But she didn't want to let it. She was stronger than that  
"Listen, babe...the surgery is going to save your life. It's not going to change anything else."  
"It's going to change everything Finn. They're...from what Dr. Lane said, they're going to take everything..."  
"To save your life." He tried to reason. "To keep you here, for our kids and for...me." She looked up at him with teary eyes.  
"Will you still love me?"  
"Baby. Nothing could ever make me stop loving you. Especially not some stupid cancer." He kissed her head as he wrapped his arms around her waist lightly. "Besides, think about it this way..." She looked up at him, wondering what he possibly had to say. "Now I won't have to buy you tampons anymore..."  
She smacked his chest and chuckled a little bit before snuggling in again.  
"But really...this is a big deal. What's going on in your head." He nudged her chin with his forefinger. "Talk to me."  
"I guess I'm still in shock. It won't really set in until I get the appointment date for the pre-op, or the actual surgery, probably not even until the chemotherapy begins. I'm just...I still can't believe this is happening and I'm trying to _not_ believe that it's happening. But telling our family has kind of changed that. And telling our friends tomorrow will do the same, make it more real. I just...Finn, why me?"  
His heart broke as he looked down at his wife. Her eyes were wide and filled with tears. He bit his lip as he looked down at her.  
"I don't know baby. I don't know." He gently grazed his thumb across her cheek, catching her tears. "I wish I knew why. I wish I could take it all away, be the one..."  
"Don't say that." She whispered fiercely. "Don't you dare say that."  
"Rachel..."  
"I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Not even my worst enemy and don't you dare say you would take this from me because I couldn't bear..." She covered her mouth with her hands as she leaned into his chest.  
"And you think I can? Rach, just the thought of you having surgery that isn't to bring one of our children into the world scares the ever living shit out of me. I can't lose you Rach, I just can't. Not when I've basically just got you back and our life has just started. We're supposed to have 100 years. Not 8." The tears rolled down his cheek slowly as he looked up at the ceiling.  
"That's why I'm not going anywhere. We're going to kick cancers ass baby. We're going to send it packing. Starting with the surgery." She leaned up and kissed his cheek before returning her head to his chest again and holding him tightly. She bit her lip. She only wished she could bottle the enthusiasm she had right now because it came in waves. She was still worried. Still so scared. Her biggest fear? Leaving her kids and husband behind. She had to be strong enough to come back to them. She had to be.

They'd invited all the friends that were in town for dinner the next night. They'd ordered in pizza, and her Dads had offered when they had called that morning to take the kids so they weren't under foot when the company came over. If she was honest, Rachel hadn't thought that far, but it would be helpful with guarding the secret of her illness from her precious children. So at a little after 4, she packed up her kids and had Finn drop them off at her childhood home a few blocks away. They'd also agreed that they'd take the kids to school the next morning, being that it was Sunday night. Rachel was grateful that their family was so wonderful. It was one of the reasons she had wanted to settle in Lima, give her kids the most family possible.

Quinn and Puck were the first ones to arrive. When Rachel opened the door, she smiled brightly, and tried to hide that this was nothing more than a friendly get together, no other motive.  
"'Sup Hudson" Puck smiled, wrapping his arms around her in a gentle hug.  
"Not much. Come on in" She smiled as she gestured for her friends to enter the house. Quinn hugged her and handed over the bouquet of flowers she had brought over.  
"These are gorgeous, you didn't have to bring anything." Rachel smiled at her two closest friends.

It was still strange to her some days that she considered Noah and Quinn Puckerman to be her closest friends. Sure, they'd grown closer by the end of high school but they were still the school bullies who had made her early high school years a living hell. Heck, Quinn had dated Finn for heaven's sake. But that was then and this was now. Quinn and Finn worked together at the high school and were actually co-teaching the glee club this year as it had grown to an impressive 25 members. They saw them regularly, and they had four kids that were close to her own children's ages. And the couple even saw a now teenaged Beth regularly.

"Well you know Quinn, couldn't come empty handed, now could we..." Puck laughed, sticking his hands in his pockets as he eyed his wife. She shrugged.

They followed Rachel more into the house and settled in the living room as she went to go put the flowers in water. Finn met her in the kitchen, as he finished putting on his watch. His hair was still damp from the shower he had just taken.  
"Who are those from?"  
"Puck and Quinn, they're in the living room" She said softly as she set the bunch in the vase. Finn looked at his wife. "Why are you just standing there, go say hi..." She smiled just as the doorbell rang again. She hurried off to welcome who was ever on the other side of the door while Finn went to offer drinks to Quinn and Puck.

After everyone arrived, everyone included Kurt and Blaine, Tina and Mike and Sam and his wife Jen as well as Brittany and her husband Cole, they sat around the living room chit chatting while they waited for the pizza to arrive. Rachel's hands began to tremble as she held them in her hands, trying to make it less obvious to her friends that she was nervous. Finn noticed and took her hand in his as he continued his conversation with Puck about the minivan. Puck was a mechanic.  
"You alright there short stuff?" Sam asked, turning towards Rachel from the loveseat where him and his wife sat. "You're trembling like a leaf, I can see it from over here."

And with that everyone's attention was on her.

Great.

She had wanted to get dinner out of the way before she told them what was going on. Sam just had to blow that out of the water for her.  
"I'm fine." She smiled stiffly. Finn squeezed her hand and leaned into her. "They're not going to go back to what they were doing now, we might as well tell them"  
"Tell us what, oh brother of mine." Kurt sang from his spot by the TV. "You haven't gone and made another niece or nephew for me to dress up have you?"  
"Get your own kids Kurt." Finn laughed, tossing a pillow at his brother. "And no, we're not having another baby. It's Sam and Jen's turn anyways."  
"Hey hey hey! We're happy over here with our one right now. It's all of you that have a problem with stopping." He directed his gaze at the Puckerman's especially. They led the charge with four, while Tina and Mike had three just like Finn and Rachel. Brittany and her husband had two girls.

"It's just fun to practice" Puck snickered, earning him a slap from his wife. The Puckerman's were as done as the Hudson's were. Four was enough.

"But something is going on, I can tell" Quinn said, looking at her best friend. "You're not right."

Rachel looked down at her hands trying to avoid the quaking stare that back in high school had made her tremble with anxiety. Now she knew Quinn was only doing it because she cared about her. She blew out a breath and looked at Finn. He stared at her as well, trying to decide if now was the time.

"Well..." She blew out a breath. "I...we..." The tears immediately came to her eyes. Why was this harder then yesterday? These were her friends, some of her closest confidants. But it hadn't felt like this when she was telling their parents... Finn wrapped his arm around her and pull her close. She drew her eyes to her lap, where Finn's hand had come to clasp hers. He squeezed her fingers tightly.

"I have cancer" She said softly. A collective gasp flowed through the living room just as the doorbell rang to signal the pizza Rachel had ordered had arrived. Brittany's husband stood up quietly when no one moved to go and answer the door.

Rachel couldn't look up at her friends. Finn's hand was tucked in hers and she squeezed his fingers again to give her strength.  
"How..." She heard the emotion in Quinn's voice as she spoke. "When..." Rachel looked up to look at her best friend, seeing the tears that were starting to fall from her eyes. Rachel bit her lip.  
"What's your prognosis?" Kurt asked from where he sat. She noticed Blaine clutching his husbands hand as well. "What's going to happen?"  
Rachel took a deep breath and looked around the room. She fixed her gaze on her husband before turning back to their friends.  
"Well." She cleared her throat, trying to summon some semblance of strength to fill them in on what was going on. She decided to just start from the beginning. "The symptoms started a few weeks ago. And when they didn't go away, I made an appointment with our doctor who then referred me to Dr. Lane in Cincinnati. That's where we were on Friday." She stopped softly. "And after tests and exams...he's diagnosed me with stage two ovarian cancer."  
"So what happens now/?" Puck asked. His tough guy exterior was gone, instead a look of compassion and sadness traced his features. This was the Noah Rachel liked best.  
"We're going to fight it." Finn said softly, looking around the room. "Fight it with everything we've got. And we're going to need your help." He paused. "We can't do this alone."  
"Absolutely." Mike spoke up for him and Tina. "Name it and it's yours. Anything at all" Both Finn and Rachel nodded.  
"So what is your plan of action?" Kurt asked.  
"Well, they've found the cancer in both of my ovaries and in my uterus. So the first step is to remove the effected organs and go from there with chemotherapy."  
"Is it just...in those parts?" Sam asked, carefully trying to avoid saying the words.  
Both Rachel and Finn nodded. "So far. They'll be able to tell more when they go in I suppose."  
"So surgery and chemotherapy. That's not so bad." Kurt's voice shook a little bit.  
"No" She said quietly. "Not so bad at all. I'm going to beat this. I'm going to beat cancer. It's the only choice I have. I need to be here for my kids and this guy" She smiled as she felt Finn squeeze her fingers.  
"Well anything you need, we're all here for you" Blaine said softly. "And you're right, you will beat this. You have no choice but to beat it."  
"Thank you." Rachel said softly. There really wasn't anything else to say. They asked more questions that neither Rachel or Finn had the answer to...like when the surgery would take place or when she would start chemotherapy.

The mood was sombre after their announcement. Everyone just picked at the pizza that had long been delivered, no one really saying anything of importance. Rachel could feel all of the eyes in the room on her, and tried desperately to not meet the looks of any of her friends. She knew it would break her. The phone ringing in the other room broke the group out the emotional trance they were in.

"Excuse me" Rachel said softly. She put her plate down on the table in front of her and got up from the couch to go and answer the phone as if it was the most important thing ever. When she was out of the room all of the focus shifted to Finn. Kurt actually stood up and walked over to his brother, sitting where Rachel had been.  
"How are you holding up?" He asked softly. Finn's head shot up and looked at his brother before his gaze toured the room and met all of his friends faces. He checked the doorway and could hear Rachel talking to who he could only assume was one of the kids on the other end of the line. It was nearing Bryce and Brayden's bed time.  
"I wish I had an answer to that question." He said softly, looking down at the plate of pizza he was holding. "I...I guess I'm still trying to figure out how to help her. In shock I guess." His voice was hoarse. "I can't lose her guys. I feel like I just got her back"  
"You're not going to lose her Finn." Puck said softly. "Berry is too determined to stick around to let something like a little cancer take her out of the game. And you're right. You just got her back. But you guys have and always will be endgame. You won't lose her."  
"He's right" Finn heard. He whipped his head around to see Rachel standing in the doorway, obviously her phone call was over. She walked over to Finn and instead of kicking Kurt out of the seat on the couch she sat down on his lap. "It's just cancer."  
"It's not just cancer." He whispered as he buried his head in her neck. He kissed her softly.  
"It is just cancer. And I'll beat it." She tried to sound confident, but she felt her resolve breaking just like it had earlier.

All of their friends felt like they were intruding on an important moment. Sam cleared his throat.  
"We're going to get going. Are the kids taken care of for tonight?" He asked, sensing that his friends really hadn't had time alone to really break down.  
"Yeah." Finn looked up from her neck. "Hiram and Leroy have them for the night. You guys don't..."  
"Yeah we do." Quinn said softly. She leaned down and kissed them both on the cheek. "I'll call you later. Don't hesitate if you need us though, alright? That goes for all of us..."  
Both Finn and Rachel nodded as their friends all hugged them goodbye and showed themselves out of the house. Once the door closed behind them, Finn pulled Rachel as close to him as he physically could and buried his head in her neck again. He finally let the tears roll down his cheeks. Now that all of the important people in their lives were aware of the situation, Finn felt like it was really hitting him. His wife, his gorgeous wife had cancer.  
"I love you" He whispered over and over. "You know that right, I tell you that enough? You know I love you with everything I am and I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you make it through..."  
"I know." She whispered as tears came down her cheeks. "I love you too. I love you so much. And that's why I'm going to fight this so hard. Because I love you and our kids so much I couldn't bear to think about lea..."  
"Don't say that. Don't even go there. It's not an option. You're going to beat this, we'll figure out what is covered under your health insurance and then some. We'll do whatever they say we need to do. Try everything. We'll beat this. You're going to be fine. We're going to fine." He cried, taking her face in his and placing a kiss on her lips. "You're going to be fine"  
"Finn?" She asked quietly as she hiccupped.  
"Yeah baby?"  
"I'm still so scared." She whispered. She couldn't hold it in anymore.  
"Me too. But it's going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine." He just hoped he was right. He needed to believe he would be right.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! Sorry it's taken a while to get this up! I was on a roll today and well, this one kind of got away from me!  
I also wanted to mention that I don't know much about cancer, so I have taken some artistic liberties. I've also done limited research so I hope I'm at least getting it at least somewhat accurate.

Please review, let me know what you think!

And as always, I don't own anything that's actually on the show. References to events that occurred on the show are for background only, and are own by Ryan Murphy and FOX. I only claim to own the plot, and any original characters - specifically the Hudson children :)

* * *

**Chapter 4**

As Finn showered in the master bathroom, Rachel sat cross legged on their bed, a photo album sitting in front of her. The house was silent, the kids down for the count already. She usually loved nights like this, and normally she probably would have followed her handsome husband into the shower for a little one on one time.

But not tonight.

It wasn't the pain she was in that was keeping her from being intimate with her husband. Yes, her symptoms were flaring up slightly but that wasn't unusual.  
What had her caught, what was causing her anxiety to fly through the roof was the fact that she had her first pre-op appointment with the oncology team at Cincinnati General Hospital tomorrow. The worry and fright that she felt for the appointment alone was enough to put her over the edge.  
So that's why she was here and not in the shower with her husband. That's why she has herself surrounded by photo albums at the moment. Some from high school, some from her time in New York but the one she was focusing on tonight and in this very moment was the one that spanned her and Finn's impromptu elopement. She smiled when she flipped the first page open. She grinned at the first picture. Finn had taken it of the two of them on the plane before takeoff.

_This was crazy. They were crazy. What were they even doing? She handed her ticket that they had hastily bought late last night to the attendant as she scanned it, waving her through to the tunnel that would bring them out to their plane that would take them to Maui. She stood and waited for Finn to have his ticket scanned and smiled as he caught up with her, taking her hand in his. They said nothing to each other as they walked onto the plane, finding their seats quickly.  
"Are we doing the right thing?" She asked softly.  
"I thought we agreed with weren't going to over think this" He smiled as he looked at her. He lifted the hand he had been holding up to his mouth and kissed it.  
"I know. I just...our families..."  
"Will get over it." He said softly. "We need to do this for us. On our terms. The way we want it. Life and everyone else has interfered so many other times. I love you, I like to think that..."  
"I do love you" She smiled at him, cutting him off. "I've always loved you. You're the love of my life."  
"Then let me sweep you off your feet. Let me be your knight in shining swim trunks" He grinned. She felt her own expression relax as she looked at her fiancé. He was her fiancé again! Not that that surprised her at all. She knew she was meant to be with Finn, he was her one and only. It had just...this entire month had been such a whirlwind.  
"Okay." She smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. They were quiet for a moment before Finn moved a little, pulling his iPhone out of his pocket and holding it up in front of them.  
"Smile for the camera" He grinned. She crinkled her nose a little but smiled anyways, allowing the moment to be caught on camera._

She was brought back from the moment when the door to the bathroom opened and her husband waltzed in, a towel wrapped around his waist that slung low on his defined hips. He immediately went to his dresser to fish out some clean pajama pants. She bit her lip as she took him in appreciatively as he bent to grab the pants, the towel pulling tight on his behind.

"Like what you see Mrs. Hudson?" He grinned at her as he focused his attention on to her from the dresser, a pair of plaid pajama bottoms in his hands.  
"Of course." She grinned. She tried not to stare as he dropped the towel and dressed quickly in the pajamas before he joined her on the bed.  
"What are we looking at here?" He asked softly, moving some of the other photo albums that were behind her so he had some room on their king sized bed.  
"Memories" She said softly as she felt him lean his arm behind her, the mattress sinking a little under their combined weight.  
"I see." He leaned his head in closer to hers to inspect the photo album in front of her.  
"That was my best idea yet..." He smiled as he looked at the page of photos that outlined the simple ceremony they had on the beach in Maui. He ran his finger over the photo that was snapped the moment the officiant had pronounced them husband and wife.

_The water was lapping at their bare toes, making Rachel giggle softly. Finn wasn't helping, making funny face at her as it hit his toes as well.  
"Are you sure you guys want to do this?" The officiant asked them, looking between Finn and Rachel with an amused grin on his face.  
"Yes. Sorry. Small town, sorry" Finn laughed as if that was the answer to how excited they were. What the honest truth was that was so excited to make this woman in front of him his wife. It had been a long road, that had so many bumps, twists and forks but somehow they were standing here, together, hands clasped ready to be bound to each other for all of eternity. The way it should have always been. Rachel giggled at him again and squeezed is fingers.  
"Alright then. Finn, we'll start with you. Do you take this woman, to be your lawfully wedded..."  
"I do" He said exuberantly, cutting the officiant off, a blush creeping on his cheeks. The officiant gave him a look but went on.  
"As I was saying, Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health until death so do you part?"  
"I do." he said a little softer, staring into Rachel's eyes.  
"And do you, Rachel, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health until death so do you part?"  
"I do. I so do." She whispered, looking at his as tears started to form in her eyes.  
"Do you have the rings?"  
Rachel was about to open her mouth to answer that no, they didn't have rings when Finn pulled two ring boxes from his pocket.  
"I bought these when you were getting your makeup done earlier." He looked down at her sheepishly. "I figured, I mean, I had to do one thing right at least, I proposed without an engagement ring, at least I could marry you with a wedding band." He opened the box that held hers. It was a pretty simple band, but it had tiny little diamonds imbedded in the band. He pulled it out and waited for the officiant to continue, after handing her the box that contained his. She bit her lip as she looked at him, tears coming to her eyes. This was her Finn, ever thoughtful Finn.  
"Finn, repeat after me as you slide the ring on Rachel's finger. With this ring, I thee wed."  
He did as he was instructed, pushing the thin band along Rachel's finger.  
"With this ring, I thee wed." He grinned at her as the tears pricked the corners of his eyes. Rachel grinned at him, her own eyes glassy.  
"Rachel..." The officiant prodded. She opened the box Finn had handed her and pulled his band out. It was much simpler then hers, just a silver band. "With this ring, I thee wed."  
She took his larger, calloused hand in her and slid the ring down his ring finger. "With this ring, I thee wed" The tears fell down her cheeks as she looked at her almost husband.  
"By the power invested in me, by the great state of Hawaii, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Finn, you may kiss your bride."  
He didn't need to be told twice. He leaned down and gently placed a hand on her neck, bringing his face to his in the perfect angle for their first kiss as husband and wife.  
"Finally" he breathed as he pulled away slightly before dipping down to kiss her again. Yeah, finally.  
_

"Do you ever think we should have done it differently?" She asked softly, bringing them both out of their daydream.  
"You mean our wedding day?" He asked as she flipped the page. There were only a couple of pictures from the actual ceremony itself, they had an assistant of the officiant as their witness and she had snapped a few pictures to commemorate the day. She nodded against his arm as she leaned into him. He felt her kiss his shoulder.  
"There isn't one thing I would change about that day." He said softly, looking down at her. "That was one of the very best days of my life. I know it was pretty quick and unplanned but...it was so..." He paused, searching for the right word. "In a way it was so us. You know? Nothing about us has ever been traditional or by the book, so why shouldn't how we got married fall into that pattern?" She nodded against his arm again. "Why do..."  
"No no. I just...I was just wondering, that's all." She looked down at her hands, playing with her wedding band.  
"I wouldn't change a thing about the last eight years Rachel. Nothing. Except for maybe the fact that..." His voice got quieter as he ran his fingers through her hair. "...that you had to be the one to get cancer." He whispered. She raised her head from his arm and looked at him, tears brimming in her eyes much like they had many times on that fateful day in Maui.  
"Finn..." She whispered, her voice thick. He pulled her closer into him and pressed several kisses to her head.  
"I wish it could be me Rach. I hope you know that. If I could take all of it away I would. In a heartbeat." She looked up at him and bit her lip. He kissed her softly. "But we both know science hasn't figured out a way to do that, so I hope it's enough that I'm going to be by your side through thick and thin, holding your hand and..."  
"I love you Finn" She whispered, cutting him off. She raised her head gently and placed a soft kiss on her husband's lips.  
When they pulled away, he looked at her softly in the eye before pecking her against the lips again. "I love you too Rach. So much. You're my world." 

* * *

They woke up the next morning and set about their usual routine. The only difference was Finn wasn't heading into work that day and Carole and Burt would be picking the kids up from school at 2:45 and bringing them back home to wait for Rachel and Finn.  
Finn smiled as he walked into the kitchen to see Rachel standing behind Bianca as she munched on a piece of toast, running a brush through their daughter's long dark hair. Bryce and Brayden were both happily sitting at the other end of the table plowing through bowls of cheerios. He smiled as he just watched them for a moment. This was his family. This was his life. There was nothing he wouldn't do for any of the four people in front of him. They were his world.  
"Earth to Daddy" Rachel called. He shook his head, not realizing the attention had been turned to him.  
"Sorry." He shook his head.  
"I just asked if you'd like me to make you something to eat." She placed the brush down on the table beside Bianca and kissed her head.  
"It's alright. I was just going to grab a nutrigrain bar" He smiled, moving from where he stood against the door frame and walking more into the kitchen. He passed by all three kids and placed kisses on their heads before moving to the cupboard to grab what he wanted. Rachel followed him and wrapped her arms around his waist, placing a kiss on the side of his chest.  
He looked down and tried to smile a little bit at her, wrapping his arms around her body after he grabbed what he needed and placed a kiss on her head as well.

When the kids were done their respective breakfast, they gathered their stuff for school and piled into the minivan. Rachel blew out a breath as she hopped into the passenger seat. They were hitting the road for the hospital right from the kids school, so her nerves were starting to get the best of her. When they pulled up to the school, Finn parked the car while Rachel walked the kids towards the yard. She hugged Bianca as she ran into her yard to meet her friends before she walked the boys to the kindergarten yard. She hugged both the boys and watched them run into the enclosed area. She smiled at the teacher who was on duty, watching her sons as they found friends to play with before turning away to meet Finn back at the van.  
He smiled at her when she got into the car again. "Everyone get off okay?"  
"Oh yeah. Barely had time to give Bianca a hug before her friends grabbed her." Rachel grinned. It made her really happy to see Bianca thrive at school and with friends. Their little girl was shy, but seemed to have fit in with a small group of friends from the moment she started school at age 4. She was kind of like Finn that way, attracted people with her infectious smile, but didn't go out of her way to make a spectacle of herself...just like Rachel had been.  
He smiled at her and threw the minivan into drive and pulled away from the school as the school bell rang and all the children scrambled to line up to go inside.

Once they hit the road, Finn turned on the radio and settled in for the drive, taking Rachel's hand in his on the gearshift. Every so often he rubbed his thumb across her knuckles and shot her a reassuring smile.  
"It's going to be okay. We're just going for the pre-op. They're going to tell us what to expect and..."  
"I know." She interrupted. "I just...I'm still scared to death."  
He nodded. He really didn't know what to say that could help her.  
"I'm here." He said softly.  
"I know." She answered quietly. "Thank you"

They hit a bit of rush hour traffic, but made it to the hospital in plenty of time to park and find their way to the oncology ward. Finn found a seat as he watched Rachel check in at the sign in desk. Her hands shook as she handed the receptionist her insurance card. Finn bit his lip from where he was sitting. He wished there was a way he could help her.  
She walked back to where he was sitting and blew out a breath as she sat beside him. He immediately took her hand and ran his finger over her knuckles. She squeezed his hand in hers and just looked at him, her gaze soft and tender. Her eyes showed how scared she was.  
"What do you think about going for a late lunch after this?" He asked, tapping their joined hands against her leg.  
"Finn..." She sighed. She just wanted to get this appointment over with and get back home to Lima to see her kids.  
"Let me take you out. Mom and Burt are going to pick up the kids so we don't have to rush back..." She looked at him an gave him a small smile. She could tell in his eyes, the way the crows feet crinkled around that he just wanted to be with her today. Support her. Love her.  
"Okay." She said softly. "They do have that great vegan place here..." He grinned at her and squeezed her hand just as her name was called.

He saw the colour drain from her face and stood to his feet, helping her up and keeping her hand clutched in his. He squeezed her hand in his, to offer support. They were led to Dr. Lane's office, where they had the initial diagnosis appointment two weeks ago. The nurse left them with a pile of paperwork to fill out, all about Rachel's history, next of kin information and so forth. Basic things the hospital would need to know, and forms she had filled out before, back when she had given birth to both Bryce and Brayden as they had been scheduled c-sections, thanks to their size.

She finished filling out the paperwork just as the nurse came in again, this time to take Rachel for a quick EKG and overall health physical. Finn found that kind of ironic, that they were doing a physical. She had cancer, that should tell them that she was sick, didn't it? But he'd kept his mouth shut for the fear of making Rachel feel like crap, kissed her head and watched her leave the room. She wasn't gone long, She looked relieved to be back in the room with him, and grabbed his hand as soon as she was sitting beside him again.

"You okay?" She nodded softly. They sat together in silence, their breathing the only thing they heard. The door opened after a few minutes and Dr. Lane walked in.  
"Mr. and Mrs. Hudson." He nodded slightly, a tiny smile on his lips. "I wish I could say it was a pleasure to see you again, but we all know that you wish you were anywhere but back here." They both nodded. Finn squeezed her hand.  
"Now we've got a date set for next Thursday for surgery..." Finn saw Rachel swallow hard. "What we're going to go over today is exactly what's going to happen during the surgery." He flipped open her file. "Through the initial testing, we'd determined that you have ovarian cancer, given your localized symptoms as well as the ultrasound we performed on your ovaries. Upon further testing we had determined that there was in fact, a chance the cancer had already spread to your uterus. The same ultrasound supported these findings, yet we would not be 100% sure until we went in to perform a hysterectomy. We'll be removing both the ovaries, and your uterus. We'll stage the cancer officially through this, though as I said ultrasounds gave us a clear indication that you are in fact stage two." Both Rachel and Finn listened numbly. We will also be checking the surrounding areas for tumors and cells that could develop into cancer."  
"So there's a chance she could not be stage two..."  
"Normally I would say yes. But given the ultrasounds, it looked to be pretty clear that there were significant tumors that we believe to be cancerous. I feel confident in labeling Rachel's cancer as stage two. What I'm hoping for is that it has not spread further."

They both nodded. That's what they hoped as well. Dr. Lane went into more detail about the surgery and the testing of cells that would occur afterwards if more suspicious cells were found.  
"What will the recovery time be like?" Rachel asked after a few minutes.  
"We'd keep you in for observation afterwards for the evening. If everything goes well you should be discharged Friday afternoon.  
"And if all doesn't go well..." Finn asked softly.  
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. If we come to it."Dr. Lane said with finality. "Now, once the surgery is completed we will have a full picture of what we're looking at with the cancer. We will then begin chemotherapy..."  
"But...if I'm having surgery..." Rachel questioned.  
"Even with the surgery, we need to make sure that the cancer is completely obliterated. The only way to make sure of that is with chemotherapy."  
He explained in great detail what that all meant.

Rachel pulled her hand out of Finn's and shook it out, the clammy feeling from holding his hand and the amount of information thrown at her made her feel cold.  
"I have every confidence that we're going to beat this Mrs. Hudson. I'm going to do my very, very best to get you well. I just need you to hang in there." She nodded.

When they arrived back at the car, Rachel got in and slammed the door without so much as a word. Finn followed suit and got into the car beside her. He took her hand instantly and she squeezed it hard.

"I'm..." She stumbled over her words as the tears began to come fast down her cheeks. "I'm so scared."  
Finn pulled her into his arms and allowed her to sob into his shoulder. "It's going to be okay. I'm going to take care of you. Everything is going to be just fine." He couldn't tell her that he was just as terrified as she was. They cried in the car much like they did that day that they'd been told her diagnosis, before collecting themselves and driving over to the vegan restaurant Rachel wanted to have lunch at.

Finn stared across the table at his wife as she looked at the menu. He couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last lunch they would have like this. He knew from now to next Thursday Rachel was going to want to spend all her time with him and the kids, he would make sure that would happen. Inside he knew that her prognosis was good, and would only get better after the surgery was performed, but he couldn't help but let his mind wander to the what if's, the maybes. It hit him hard in that moment as he watched her, that his wife had _cancer_ and there was a very real reality, no matter what research and Dr. Lane said that he may very well lose his wife. He swallowed hard as he watched her move her hair behind her ear and tried to smile as she looked up at him. He couldn't think like that. He wasn't going to lose her. He wouldn't let it happen.

They chatted about everything and anything that wasn't related to the appointment they had just had. They laughed over something Bryce had said before leaving for school that morning, and about Bianca's upcoming gymnastics meet. They laughed Brayden's sweet attempts into trying to sway them to get a dog. It wasn't until they'd ordered dessert that Rachel brought the impending surgery date up.  
"I want the kids here. In Cincy when I have the surgery next week." She said softly. He eyed her, trying to figure out what she was getting at. "I still don't want them to know about the cancer. But I want them here. I can't be apart from them for too long. We can get a hotel and my dad's have already said they'll come..."  
Finn bit his lip. He wasn't sure it was a good idea for the kids to be here during the surgery, but when he looked at her face, he knew it was what she wanted. And he'd do whatever it was she wanted.  
"Okay. It's only two days of school. Not really a big deal." He smiled.  
The smile she gave him was the thanks he needed. "Thank you"  
"No need to thank me." He smiled. "You're right. It'll be a big day. A huge day for you. Our family should be together, even if we're still not telling the kids." She nodded and took a sip of her water as the waiter brought her vegan cherry pie. He'd move heaven and earth if it meant keeping her at least a little happy and content during this terrible time. It was what he did. She was his world.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hope you guys like this! Any medical mistakes are mine ad mine only. I don't own anyone associated with glee, just original characters. Any mention of events from glee are merely for reference only. Anything related to glee is owned exclusively by RIB and Fox. Enjoy! **

**Chapter Five**

The house was dark, the only light coming from the light that was shining from the range above the stove. Finn sat at the table, a glass of warm milk between his hands, his gaze intently focused on the many splinters and grains in the worn out table top that he was sitting at. He would be lying if he said he wasn't tired, but the fact of the matter was that he just couldn't sleep. His mind was going a million miles a minute, and as the clock on the wall continued to tick by his anxiety grew and his thoughts raced faster.

His wife was having surgery tomorrow...well later today.

He looked up at the clock and squinted, barely able to tell that it was showing to be just before 3 in the morning. He rubbed his face and stared again at the table, trying to will the thoughts in side of his head to stop. But there was no stopping them.

He was scared. Terrified, really. Rachel was having surgery later today, and the thought and prospect of her being laid out on a table, put under anesthetic and operated on gave him the shivers, and not the good kind. The emotions that were coursing through his veins made his heart feel heavy and overworked. He didn't know what to do with them, what else to say or do. He knew he should get to bed but he just couldn't stop _thinking_. He couldn't close his eyes as nightmares were plaguing his every thought. Nightmares of something going wrong at the hospital, nightmares of her leaving him before he had a chance to say goodbye. Nightmares that they would open her up and find more cancer inside then they knew what to do with. He was terrified that something was going to happen to her and that just couldn't happen. She's his life. He needed her like he needed the air that he breathed. He needed her, like he needed the roof over his very head. He just needed her.

The stairs creaked from around the corner. He meant to get Burt over to help him fix that. Rachel had been after him for months to look after that annoying sound. He looked up when he felt a presence in the doorway and saw his beautiful wife standing in the archway. He looked away from her, not wanting her to see his glassy, tired eyes. He refocused back on the table top in front of him and nearly jumped out of his skin when she he felt her hand on his shoulder.

"Come to bed baby" She whispered, leaning down and placing a kiss on his head before running her fingers through his hair softly.  
"What are you doing up?" He asked, his voice thick, ignoring her plea. "You should get some sleep"  
"I could say the same for you" She sighed. She nudged him to move his chair back and sat on his lap, wrapping her arm around his neck. His hands snaked around her waist and held her to him.  
"I can't sleep" He whispered, nuzzling his nose in her hair.  
"Why?"  
"Just keep...thinking. You know?" His thumb grazed her hip.  
"About what?"  
"You." He said simply. He took in her scent, her smell. Everything that was so distinctly his Rachel. The honey body wash and the vanilla smelling shampoo. All smells that were so...her.  
"Me?" She questioned.  
"Just...I'm worried about tomorrow...well later today...Rach" He tightened his grip on her waist.  
"Me too" She said simply. "I'm terrified Finn."  
He looked at her, opened his mouth and closed it a few times over. "Rach..."  
"But I know I need to do it in order to live. I just...I can't come to terms with the fact that the success o this surgery is basically going to define the rest of my life. I'm scared that..." She trailed off.  
"...that what?" He implored.  
"That it's not going to help and I'm going to die." She said softly.  
_Die, I'm scared I'm going to die_. Those words resounded in Finn's head over and over, pumping like a snare drums heavy beat.  
"You're not going to die." He whispered into her ear. "I won't let you die. You can't."  
"You can't protect me from this Finn. Whatever happens, happens. Just know that I love you so damn much and I'm not going down without a fight."  
"You're not going to die Rachel. You heard Dr. Lane. This is survivable. It's just surgery..."  
"Cancer surgery." She said simply, tears brimming her eyes and spilling out rapidly.

The sob that he had been trying to hold back finally bubbled forth from his mouth. He buried his head in her hair as he tightened his hold on her, as if that was the answer to everything that was wrong in their lives at the moment.

"Rachel, you know how much I love you right?" He whispered against her hair as his sobs started to slow down. He picked his head up and dragged hers with his, up to look in his eyes.  
"I..." Her tears continued to fall as she looked up at him.  
"I need you to just understand..." His eyes looked desperate, searching. "I love you with every single thing that I am. You're my world. You and those kids upstairs are my absolute world. Even when we were apart, after I put you on that train and sent you on to achieve your dreams. You were and are still my greatest achievement. The love of my life. And the fact that you have to go through this...this horrible experience is killing me inside. Because these last 8 years...hell if we're being truthful the last 15 years of my life, have been some of the best years of my life. Better than I could have ever imagined. You've given me a life, that I am so extraordinarily grateful for and if anything was to happen to you through this...Rach, they might as well take me too because I survived life without you once. But it was just that, merely surviving. I just...I'm not strong enough to do that again. I can't bear the thought of..."  
"You'd have to." She interrupted, placing her hands on his cheeks. "Finn, if anything happens to me you have to promise me that you won't let yourself drown. You'd have to take care of our kids. Finn...Please promise me..." She cried. "I need you to promise me that you won't disappear on our babies. They'd need you"  
"Rach, I don't know how I'd..."  
"Promise me. I can't go into this surgery...start...this...journey without knowing that our kids will still have you if I can't be here..."  
He cried as he looked at her, attempted to wipe her tears but he could barely see. "I...of course. But baby, I don't even want to think about..."  
"I know. But...I just need to know that my babies will be taken care of..."  
"Of course." He kissed her head. "They're our babies. I'd take the very, very best care of them. But it wouldn't be the same without you." He cried. "I love you so much. So incredibly much" He turned her face to his and placed a soft kiss on her lips.  
"I love you too. I love you so much." She replied. They sat together quietly, soaking in the intensity of their conversation. The atmosphere in the room was heavy, thick.  
"Let's go to bed" She whispered after a few minutes. She slowly got off his lap and reached her hand out to his. He gently took it, tugging her to the sink to pour out his now cold milk before following her up the stairs.  
She was just closing her eyes again, wrapped up in his arms in bed when she heard him mumble something against her head.  
"Please God" He whispered. "Don't take her from me. I need her down here much more than you do up there. Please." His voice croaked and she felt the familiar tears well in her eyes again as he begged God for her life. She was going to beat this if it was the last thing she did. She had to. For him. For their kids. For their life together that was just barely starting.

When they got up a few short hours later, Rachel finished packing her bag while Finn got the kids dressed for the day. When she was finished, she met her family down at the breakfast table. All three kids looked at her with a confused expression on their faces.  
"Why are we not going to school Mommy?" Brayden asked as soon as Rachel stepped into the room. She smiled softly at her little boy. She took her normal seat at the table and watched as Finn sat three bowls of cereal in front of their kids before sitting down in his own chair with his coffee and toast.  
"Well. Guys." She played with her hands. "Mommy's not feeling well. And I have to go to the hospital today." She watched as Bianca's eyes bugged out of her head. At 7, she understood more than her two younger brothers did.  
"Are you going to be okay?" She asked timidly.  
Rachel looked at Finn, trying to figure out the best way to answer and not let the tears she felt coming get the best of her.  
"Mommy is going to be just fine." Finn interjected. "She's not going to be able to play with you for a little bit while she recovers but she's going to just fine." He hoped it sounded as strong as he was trying to relay.  
The kids seemed satisfied, and they explained about how Mommy had wanted to have them at the hospital, and how they were going to hang out with Grandpa and Granddad and have lots of fun while the doctors 'fixed' their Mommy. Rachel gave Finn a watery smile from across the table. He blew her a kiss before taking a bite of his toast.

They met her father's at the hospital, and the instant that Rachel saw them she wrapped her arms around the both of them and bit her lip, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her. She couldn't break down, Finn was right behind her with the kids. What she didn't expect was to see Finn's parents standing behind hers, and Quinn and Puck close behind them. She pulled away from her father's after kissing each of their cheeks and walked over to the other four people who were so important to her. She embraced Finn's parents before moving to Quinn and Puck.  
"What are you guys doing here?" She asked as she approached them, smiling at her best friends. The tears she had been feeling all morning were quickly coming to the surface.  
"What do you mean what are we doing here?" Puck asked as he wrapped her in a hug. She looked up at him. "Where else would we be?"  
"Finn had mentioned that you wanted the kids here. We thought we'd come and entertain the kids while everything else was going on." Quinn smiled, adjusting the baby carrier on her arm. "That way your parents and Finn could tend to you..."  
The tears immediately surfaced as she looked at her best friend. Quinn quickly passed her six month old son to her husband and wrapped her best friend in her arms.  
"I'm so glad you're here" Rachel whispered.  
"There's nowhere else I would rather be." Quinn whispered in her ear. They both swallowed hard before they let go. Quinn brushed her friends tears away as they both calmed down. Puck had moved over to where Finn was with the kids and the group of parents. Both women smiled as they watched Puck clowning around with Brayden and Bryce, while Carole and Bianca were admiring the youngest Puckerman in his car seat.

She hugged her kids and sent them on their way with Quinn and Puck. She was glad they were here. As she was quickly realizing, it was probably pretty selfish and short sighted of her to have her children at the hospital while she was operated on. But she just couldn't bear the thought of being so far away from them. She wanted to see them the moment she was able to, and had relayed that sentiment to Finn as well. He had just nodded.

When they were out of sight, the group of six made their way to the oncology floor where Rachel signed in. She was immediately shown to a room, and given a gown to change into. Once the nurse left and their parents stepped out to give her privacy, she lost it. She sobbed into Finn's chest as he held her much like they had done that morning. It was becoming all too real. This was happening. It wasn't a dream.  
"It's going to be okay." He whispered, though she heard the quiver in his voice. "It's going to be okay"

Her surgery was scheduled for 11:30. She laid on the bed, a thin blanket covering her bare legs. Their parents were trying to keep their minds off of what was about to go on in a few short moments. They told jokes and stories, but Rachel couldn't really find it in herself to relax. But it wasn't working.

_She felt huge. At 9 months pregnant, Rachel felt like she had ballooned to three times her size. She felt like her hand was permanently attached to the small of her back. Finn held her hand as they walked down the hallway towards her doctor's office. She felt anxious today. It was her last prenatal appointment, and they were going to decide today with the help of her Dr. Burton, if a natural delivery was even the realm of possibility. The baby, who they had dubbed Little Foot, had been measuring well beyond the standards of development. And from the moment those measurements started coming in, Dr. Burton had been concerned.  
"Hopefully this is the last time we do this." Finn sighed, holding her hand in his. She looked up at him and tried to give him a smile. While she was hoping that it would be the last, the fact that the outcome of this appointment might mean surgery still gave her massive anxiety.  
"I hope so too." She said softly. He squeezed her hand while opening the door for her to enter the office._

They checked in and had no sooner found somewhere to sit before their names were called. Rachel groaned, allowing Finn to help her up from her chair and followed the nurse into an exam room. After the nurse took the initial tests and measurements, she smiled at the pair and left them alone with a promise that Dr. Burton would see them shortly.  
She laid back on the bed, her hands running all around her large belly. Finn smiled as he watched her, sitting closer to her and placing a kiss on her cheek.  
"Little foot kicking a lot?" He asked, staring at his wife intently.  
"Not really. I think their running out of room. I don't think my belly can get any bigger." She chuckled. Finn laughed as well and placed a kiss on her swollen cheek as Dr. Burton entered the room.

_They made small talk with the doctor before they got on with their examination. Finn held her hand tightly as they heard the baby's heart thump before turning to an ultrasound. Ultrasounds had been more common for them, as they'd been trying to track the baby's growth and size as close as possible.  
"So." Dr. Burton said softly. "You're exactly 40 weeks as of tomorrow. I've just done the measurements and if we're looking at an average chart, your baby is estimating in length as if you were 3 weeks overdue, with an approximate weight of almost 10 pounds" Rachel's eyes bugged out at the thought of a 10 pound baby." Now while it is an estimation I do feel that natural birth may not be an option for you Rachel. I'm worried about the damage it could potentially cause and I don't want to put you or your baby at risk."  
"So what does that mean?" Finn asked, looking at the doctor. He felt Rachel squeeze his hand.  
"How would you feel about tomorrow being your little one's birthday?" Dr Burton smiled. Rachel's gaze instantly went to Finn's.  
"I say okay" She said softly as she stared at Finn. Yeah, they'd have a baby tomorrow. It was still surgery, but it would be worth it. So worth it._

So they packed her bag that night and phoned their parents, to tell them the news. They were going to be grandparents tomorrow sometime after 2 pm. Hell, they were going to be parents sometime after 2 pm.

He held her hand the entire time. It killed him that he couldn't be with her when she got her needle because he knew how much she hated needles. But he was there the entire time he could be. Holding her hand and talking to her as he saw her anxiety shoot through the roof.  
"Does it feel weird?" He asked softly, as Dr. Burton announced that the baby was close to being delivered.  
"Very. Like someone has their hands stuck inside my stomach." She laughed. He chuckled.  
"Here comes Little Foot." Dr. Burton chuckled. "Who should have been called Big Foot" Rachel turned to look at Finn and urged him to stand up. She saw that his hands were shaking as he held his phone with the camera app open. She felt the weirdest sensation in her stomach as she could only assume her baby was being taken from her. "And it looks like Little Foot is a beautiful baby girl."

And instantly she felt the tears come to her eyes. She had a daughter. Her and Finn had a little girl.

She was brought back to reality when she heard the door open. Everyone in the room turned and saw that it was a nurse and the anesthesiologist.  
"I hate to break up this party. But they're almost ready in the operating room, so I'm here to get you all set up." The older man smiled. Rachel's eyes immediately began to panic as she looked at the people around her.  
"Can I just have a minute?" She said softly."To say..."  
"Don't say you're going to say goodbye" Finn whispered loudly.  
The anesthesiologist nodded, stepping out of the room with the nurse.  
Burt and Carole moved first, hugging Rachel and kissing her with gentle promises that they would see her after.  
Her dads next, hugging her tightly and whispering words of love and bravery. They followed Carole and Burt out, leaving Finn and Rachel alone.  
He leaned down into her and nuzzled his face into her neck. "I love you" He whispered. "I love you so incredibly much. I'm going to be here the whole time and right next to you when you wake up. As soon as they let me beside you, baby know that I'll be there..."  
"Just like all the other times." She grinned even though there were tears in her eyes.  
"Just like all the other times." He repeated.  
"I love you Finn." She whispered. "So much. I hope you know that. You're my world and if..."  
"Don't" He cut her off. "Nothing is going to happen, everything is going to be fine. And in two-three hours were going to be together again and I'll have the kids come see you and it'll all be okay" She nodded at his words, soaking them in and wanting to believe them to the fullest extent. "I love you" he kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose and then her lips. "I love you so much."  
"I love you too" He whispered as the door opened again and the nurse and anesthesiologist returned. They allowed Finn to stay as her sedative was administered in a port that had been started when she was admitted. Finn squeezed her good hand as the liquid flowed into her bloodstream and he said a silent prayer as the drugs started to take effect.  
"I love you baby" He said softly as she began to slip into unconsciousness.

Two orderlies appeared at the door and began to move her bed for transport. He didn't care if he was allowed, but he held her hand as they walked her out of the room and down the hall towards the operating room. He only let go when they told him he couldn't go any further.

And when she was completely out of his sight, the levee finally broke and the tears flew down his cheeks. And their family was right behind him, waiting to catch him. Burt was the first to catch him.  
"It's going to be okay" Burt whispered as they led him to the waiting room specifically for families. "It's going to be okay."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't own anyone who has ever been on glee. I only own the original characters and the plot. The lyrics in this chapter, belong to Coldplay.**

**Chapter 6  
**  
As she slipped into unconsciousness, the anesthetic taking over her brain, Rachel was lulled into a peaceful, dream filled sleep as the surgery that would hopefully save her life began.

Finn, on the other hand was restless. He sat down in between his mother and Hiram, his elbows immediately resting on his knees, his head falling into his open palms. His heart was racing a million miles a minute as he thought about what his wife was undergoing at the moment. He pulled at the hair at is temples forcefully, as if that was a sure way to keep the tears he was fighting at bay. He felt a hand on his back but refused to look up. He could tell it was his mother's, trying in any way to offer him some comfort. But there was no way he was going to be comforted. Not until his wife was out of surgery, in recovery, awake and alert. He wouldn't rest until he knew she would come out of it okay. He began to bounce his leg up and down, moving his elbows off, leaning back in the chair with his arms crossed over his chest. He leaned his head back, looking up at the ceiling as memories of their life together so far flashed in front of his eyes.

_They were prepared this time. The moment they found out they were expecting again, they had armed themselves with the knowledge that their second child could possibly be as big as Bianca had been at birth. She'd weighed in at 9lbs even, not the 10 that Dr. Burton had anticipated. He remembered Rachel's face when they'd held the little girl up for her to see as soon as she was lifted out, her eyes had bugged out and then she sighed happily, relieved that the c-section had in fact been warranted and well appreciated. He teased her about it after a few months had gone by which had been met by smacks on the arm or shoulder and promises to let him deliver the next gigantic baby should they ever conceive again. So when Dr. Burton had told them around month 5 that their second child was showing the same growth patterns as Bianca had over three years ago, they were prepared for a repeat c-section performance._

_Bryce was delivered on a rainy Tuesday in September, a week before his estimated due date. They were prepared this time, the date being set over a month in advance. But it was still surgery, and even though she had been through it once before (and survived, all with only 24 hours notice), the thought of being cut open scared the crap out of Rachel. But when Bryce Hiram Hudson came screaming into the world a head full of brown hair and weighing in at an impressive 9 pounds, 6 ounces, the relief on Rachel's face was evident when she saw him, followed by tears of joy. She'd do it all over again in a heartbeat._

It had been three and a half hours. Finn began pacing the hallway an hour earlier. Dr. Lane had said the surgery would take two hours, maybe two and a half at the most. And as the time continued to tick by, the red numbers of the digital clock on the wall changing every sixty seconds, Finn grew more anxious as the numbers climbed. .  
"Finn, why don't you take a seat, son?" Hiram stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder. Finn stopped short, and turned around to look at his father-in-law.  
"I can't sit." He said simply. "I can't"  
"Finn." Hiram tried again.  
"I can't!" He shouted, causing his parents and Leroy looked up from what it was that they were doing. He stared at his father-in-law, his jaw set but quivering. "I'm sorry." Hiram patted his back again as Carole stood up and walked over to them. She touched Finn's other shoulder.  
"Why don't we..."  
"I'm not going anywhere." He stamped out, looking away from his mother. "I have to be here. I promised her I wouldn't leave. I need to be here..."  
"I'm sure Rachel would understand if you went..."  
"I. don't. need. anything." He stamped out. Carole flinched at his tone but didn't let it affect her greatly.  
"I was just going to say to go for a walk to get a cof..."  
She was cut off when the doors to the hallway that led to the operating rooms opened.

"Hudson?" a Doctor Finn didn't recognize announced, looking around the small waiting room. Dr. Lane had mentioned that a colleague was going to be assisting on Rachel's surgery. Finn had to scoff at the doctor announcing their name like the room was full. They were the only family waiting in the room.  
"That's me...uh...us." Finn gestured to the four older members of his family as he walked closer to the doctor.  
"I'm Dr. Harris, I was assisting Dr. Lane with your wife's hysterectomy and ovary removal" Finn nodded as he shook the older man's hand.  
"How is my wife?" Finn asked, cutting to the chase immediately. He felt his mother touch his back again. Dr. Harris gave him a sympathetic look, and Finn's face immediately paled. He could feel his heart rate escalating and a sinking feeling in his stomach.  
"While the surgery started routinely, with Mrs. Hudson receiving the routine anesthetic, during the abdominal hysterectomy Mrs. Hudson began to bleed profusely." He paused, allowing the words to sink into the group. "While we managed to stem the bleeding once the source was found, she did lose a significant amount of blood resulting in an extensive transfusion where Mrs. Hudson received multiple units of blood." Dr. Harris said as simply as he could.  
Finn felt like he was going to vomit. His hands dropped to his knees as he bent over, trying not to heave all over the floor.  
"What does that mean for Rachel? Is she going to be okay?" Burt asked as he stood next to his wife. He could see that Leroy and Hiram were as dumbstruck as Finn.

Dr. Harris paused and scratched his chin while looking at the family. "She's in recovery now and still under anesthetic. We'll know more about how the blood loss and subsequent transfusion have affected her when she starts to come back to us." Dr. Harris said softly. "When the anesthetic wears off, we'll know if it's the medication keeping her asleep or if she has fallen into a coma" Finn nodded blankly. As if he could anticipate the next question, Dr. Harris added quickly. "Routinely we would say it could take an hour for the anesthetic to wear off, but with the events that occurred it's unknown how long it will take for her to wake up given that the possibility of a coma is great" The family nodded.  
"When can I see her?" Finn asked finally, lifting his eyes from the floor. His voice was thick and he could feel the tears in his eyes.  
"I'll have a nurse come get you when she's ready. She's just arrived so they need a few minutes to get her set up in her room." Dr. Harris answered politely. Finn and the rest of the family nodded. They shook Dr. Harris' hand before he left them with their thoughts.

"I knew the surgery wasn't going to go right." He mumbled as he sat in the chair he had abandoned earlier. He fisted his hair. "I knew something was going to go wrong! Why did I let her..."  
"Hey." Burt interrupted his tirade, placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay. She's in recovery, they wouldn't put her in recovery if she wasn't..."  
He jumped up and pointed his finger at Burt. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but did he or did he not say they weren't sure when she would come to?" His voice was tinged with anger and sadness simultaneously. He looked from his parents to hers and back. "What am I going to do?" Finn grabbed at his hair again and groaned. "I can't lose her. I cannot lose her. She's my wife. She's my life. The mother of my children..." He cried.  
"Honey." Carole started, standing up and going over to him. "It's going to be okay. One step at time, alright? Let's wait to see her and go from there, okay?" She soothed, running her hand over his back. He looked at her with watery eyes.  
"I need her to be okay Mom." He whispered. "I need her to be okay so bad." Carole wrapped her arms around her son and tried to comfort him as best as she could. She needed her daughter-in-law to be okay too.  
"She will be." She said softly as she held him. "She's a Berry and Hudson combination. She has to be okay."  
She got him to sit back down after she had calmed him. She continued to run her hand up and down Finn's back in an attempt to get him to calm down.

It was another 20 minutes before a nurse came out to find them. Given that Rachel wasn't awake yet, only Finn was allowed back to see her. He followed the nurse down the hallway where the recovery rooms were. She opened the third door down and led Finn inside to the private room. He felt his skin flush and his blood race through his veins as Rachel came into his sights. He thanked the nurse quietly after she told him to press the call button at any time if something happened, which included Rachel waking up. He nodded at her instructions and she gave him a small smile as she left the couple alone. He dropped into the chair beside her bed and took her hand instantly, bringing it up to his mouth and placing a kiss right above where the IV was inserted into her soft skin. The heart monitor beeped from the opposite side of the bed. He held her hand in his gently after the kiss, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles slowly and softly.  
"Oh Rach." he said softly. He used his free hand to touch her head gently, moving his fingers through her dark brown hair, sweeping strands away from her face. He ran his fingers over her face, ghosting over her features as she laid there. "What happened in there, baby? Come back to me...please..." He whispered as his voice broke. He could only hope that it was the anesthetic still keeping her away from him. He leaned his head on the pillow beside her trying his best not to crowd her and brought his hand up to rest against the opposite cheek, running his thumb over and over. He touched the tube going into her nose and swallowed thickly, just staring at her, waiting. He kissed her cheek as gently as he could as a tear fell from his cheek.

As he stared at her, willing her with his eyes to just wake up, move, make a sound, anything that let him know she was on her way back to him, he softly began to sing to her. That had always comforted her in the past, always helped. He could only hope it would help now. " When you try your best, but you don't succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse. And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can't replace. When you love someone, but it goes to waste. Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you" He whispered softly into her ear as he kissed her cheek softly. "And I will try to fix you"


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Wow, two updates? That's unheard of! I'm really motivated on this story for some reason :). Guess that's okay though!

As always, I don't own anything related to glee. That all belongs to RIB and Fox. I just own the original characters and the plot. So there. Also, I don't pretend to be the authority on ovarian cancer. Any and all mistakes are mine. 

**Chapter 7  
**

She came back to him. It started with a flutter of her eye lashes and her nostrils flaring, her hands twitching ever so slightly. But eventually her eye lids caught up with the rest of her body and opened, revealing wide deep brown eyes. His breath hitched and his body shot up, staring at her intently. He tried to calm his racing heart as he stared at her. Her mouth opened slowly, and closed at the same pace. He placed a finger on her lips gently, signalling that she didn't need to try. He nuzzled into the crook of her neck and laced his fingers into her messy hair.  
"Hi." She croaked finally after several long beats had passed.  
"Hi baby" He whimpered, placing a kiss on the crook of her neck before lifting his head to look at her again. He moved the hand from her hair to her cheek, rubbing the pad of his thumb along her cheek. "I love you so much" He couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment. The relief he felt in his heart just looking at her, hearing her voice no matter how groggy, was extreme.  
"Love you." She mumbled back. Her eyes were still glassy and looked tired. But she was awake. And alive.

He reached for the call button and pressed it gently before turning his attention to his wife.  
"How long was I out?" She croaked. Finn looked at her and then at the clock. He blinked hard, realizing it was a lot later than he had thought. He rubbed his eyes, noting that it was 6:30. It had taken her almost three hours to come around.  
"Awhile." He said gravely. He tried to offer her a small smile. "But you're back and that's all that matters to me."  
"Did they take it all?" She whispered, her own hand falling to her abdomen. He looked at her and she must have seen the look on his face because hers quickly turned to alarm and worry. "Wh..."  
"I didn't even think to ask..." He trailed off. He saw her eyes narrow a little and he wondered if he should tell her. "There was a complication and all I could focus on was..."  
"What complication?" Her voice quivered instantly and he could hear the tears in her voice. "What happened..."

The door opened at that moment and Dr. Lane walked in, a nurse in tow.  
"Well, look who decided to join us." The older man joked quietly. He stopped abruptly when he noticed the joke didn't have the desired effect. "Let's check you out..."  
"She just woke up. She's been talking normally." Finn addressed the doctor firmly. "Don't know if that..."  
"That's a very good thing." Dr. Lane checked her over, removed the breathing tube from her nose, listened to her heart and checked her small incision to make sure it was still in good form before turning and addressing Rachel. "You gave us quite a scare in there."  
Rachel questioned the doctor with her eyes. Finn took her hand in his. "You lost a lot of blood and we had to give you a transfusion. That may be why it took you so long to come back to us. We were worried you were slipping into a coma..."  
Rachel's eyes bugged out and she squeezed Finn's hand in hers tightly. This is what he had been trying to tell her. This is why he hadn't had a thought to ask about the cancer removal. He thought he had been losing her completely.  
"But all seems to be well. Your surgery went well despite the bleeding that occurred. We managed to remove your uterus in its entirety, as well as both of your effected ovaries. But we also have to talk about what we found." Dr. Lane said softly, looking at the couple in front of him. Finn felt his skin go cold. This couldn't be good. He felt her squeeze his hand tightly.  
"While we did remove the effected organs, we did find several small tumor growths in the lining of your abdomen as well as behind where your uterus rested. We were able to test them and have determined that they are in fact cancerous cells"  
"Wh..." Finn started. He squeezed Rachel's hand. "What does this mean?" Dr. Lane cleared his throat and looked at the couple. "It means that we've officially staged your cancer at stage three, instead of stage two." He paused, allowing his words to fully take. "I wish I had better news. Once you've healed from the surgery, we're going to begin chemotherapy."  
Rachel felt all of the breath leave her body and the sobs erupted. Finn shot up from his chair and wrapped her gently in his arms, trying to offer her any comfort at all as he felt his own head begin to swim. Stage three. Not stage two, stage three. He was sure that was bad. He could feel it in his bones and at the very tips of his toes that that was bad. Very bad.

Dr. Lane quietly slipped out of the room after telling them that if they had any questions to have him paged. He knew the initial shock was going to take awhile to wear off and there would be many questions afterwards.

Finn held her as she cried. He slipped into her bed, mindful of the IV that was still attached to her hand and held her close to him. When she was nuzzled into his chest he allowed his own tears begin to fall, the lump in his throat getting larger as he swallowed. This wasn't happening to them. This wasn't happening to her. The surgery was supposed to help her, not find more cancer and ruin her life.  
"I love you" Was all he could muster into the top of her head, kissing her tangled hair a few times and allowing his fingers to splay gently on her hip. "I love you so much."

She sobbed until her voice was hoarse and his shirt was drenched by her tears. She stayed nuzzled into his chest, clinging to the fabric of the long sleeved shirt he was wearing, clutching it between her fingers as if it was her lifeline.

They didn't say anything else as they laid there together. Finn was trying really hard not to hurt her or make her uncomfortable. He just held her. He knew that's what she needed, because that's what he needed at the moment too. To just hold her. It was the only way he felt like he was rooted in reality. She wasn't gone. She wasn't in a coma, she wasn't dying. She was here still. He'd do his best to make sure she was always here and knew how much she was loved.

He didn't know how long they laid there together, but a nurse came in to pull the blinds and asked if Rachel was ready to see her family that were so patiently waiting. Finn had forgotten all about their parents and how they were waiting for them. He rubbed his face, silently thanking Quinn and Puck for taking the kids. He wondered what they were doing, where they were. He probably should find out. He felt Rachel nod against his chest, in which he assumed was a move to tell both him and the nurse that she was ready to see their family.  
The nurse nodded and left the room as quietly as she had entered. Finn attempted to untangle himself from her.  
"No stay." She whispered. He obliged, not wanting to upset her and wrapped his arm around her again. He kissed her head as the door opened and her father's walked in first.

"Oh Rachel." They both said softly, at the same time. They both kissed her head softly, before allowing Burt and Carole in to embrace her as well. Rachel looked around at the four adults and bit her lip. The tears surfaced again in her eyes and she tried her hardest not to falter. She didn't want to lose it in front of them, she wasn't sure she could say the words yet. She wasn't sure of anything.

"Quinn and Puck send their love." Carole said softly. "They took the kids back to Lima earlier. Puck is staying with them at your house. We're going to relieve him when we leave here. We just wanted to see you before we left." She leaned over and kissed the top of Rachel's head. Rachel's lip trembled as the thought of her kids came to her mind. She leaned back against Finn as the tears flew down her cheeks. She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to stem them and avoid the gazes of the parents around them. Instead on the backs of her eyelids she saw the faces of her kids, their sweet innocent faces. It made the tears come faster.

"We're so glad you're okay Rachel." Hiram said softly, taking her out of her thoughts. "You scared us there for a bit..." He tried to smile, but Finn could see through it. He knew that look. It was the same one that he was sure was on his face at the moment.  
"I'm not okay." She whispered. The words were so soft that Finn wasn't even sure he had heard her correctly. The four adults looked at her, and then at Finn.  
"The surgery went well." Leroy said softly. "Aside from the bleeding they removed..."  
"They found more." She said softly. Finn felt her stiffen against him, and he attempted to just draw her inside him. Offer her anything and everything. She started to sob again into his chest. He held her, and tried to divert his gaze from their parents. "They found more and I for sure have to have chemotherapy when I'm healed." All of their parents collectively gasped. He heard her father's start to cry and mumble things about this shouldn't be happening. Burt remained stoic and his mom had tears in her eyes.  
"What can we do honey?" She asked softly, looking at them with her own teary eyes. Rachel hiccupped and looked up at her mother-in-law with her lip trembling profusely. "How can we help..."  
"I need my babies taken care of. Go see my babies" She sobbed. "Please. Just...just be with them cause I can't be there right now."  
It wasn't that she doubted Puck could take care of them, because she knew he could. He was a father himself and had been longer than Rachel and Finn put together. She just needed...she needed her family to be together. She needed to know her babies were with family. She knew Carole and Burt could do it. Carole and Burt only nodded.

They kissed both her and Finn goodbye after a few more minutes, leaving the two with Hiram and Leroy who had eventually gathered themselves enough to talk.

Finn watched as Rachel stared at her parents and they stared back at her. He could feel the lump in his own throat, and he could only imagine how the three people in front of him, one in his arms were dealing. He knew how Rachel was dealing. She wasn't.

When he'd first started dating Rachel, all those years ago when everything was so new and she was a starry-eyed girl who looked at him like he hung the moon and the stars (She still got that look about her, except it was more over changing the oil in the van or fixing the leak in the dishwasher rather than when he said something that had been considered witty back then), he'd gotten to know Hiram and Leroy Berry fairly well. Well enough to know that Hiram was logical where Leroy was the more theatrical and dramatic of the pair (easy enough to see who had had the bigger effect on Rachel's personality in the formative years). He learned enough of them to know that although Leroy was the first one to be supportive of their relationship each time it had started up, Hiram was the one that would go to bat for him the most with Rachel, when arguments would arise. He was also the one that was most opposed to putting her on the train, though it had logically been what was best for her. Or so they had all thought. He'd learned, that Leroy would be the one that was most okay with their impromptu elopement, as long it meant that he could still throw a fabulous party (That had been planned with Kurt as a wingman). But it was Hiram who had been closest to Finn, hugged him first each time they'd welcomed a baby and spent the most time with a mutual love of football bringing them together very early on.

What he didn't know, is how they were going to react to this, this change in even the faintest drawing of what they had expected their daughters life to be like. Sure, they hadn't anticipated her falling in love with a boy from Lima, but she had followed all of their other steps virtually to a t. Well, except eloping. That threw everything off. Again. He didn't know how they were going to take it, mainly because he didn't know himself. He wasn't sure how he was going to deal with this. He knew cancer wasn't part of the plan. It was never part of his plan either.

Rachel snuggling into his chest as the tears started to taper off brought him out of his daydream. He rubbed her back in comforting circles and saw that her father's had come to sit beside the bed. No one was really saying anything, but he could tell they were all thinking the same thing as they looked at each other.  
"We're going to beat this. Whatever we need to do...we'll do...we'll sell our house if we need to..." Leroy said softly, his voice gaining strength with each word.  
"Daddy" Rachel interrupted him, her mouth dropping. "Daddy, you don't need to sell your house. Don't be dramatic." Her voice dropped. "Just...just help me." Her lip trembled as she looked at her parents.  
"Always" Hiram assured.

Her dads chatted a little bit more, before standing up to leave. After emotional hugs, kisses and promises to call if they need anything the Berry men walked out of the hospital room. Finn sighed as the door closed.

"Finn, I'm so sorry." She cried after she was sure her parents were long gone. Instead of seeking comfort in his arms, she pulled away a little and attempted to bury her face in the only part of her pillow that wasn't covered by her own head or her husband. She winced at the sudden movement. Finn bit his lip and pulled her gently back into his arms as she cries gave way to sobs once again. He gently shushed her against his chest and ran his fingers through her hair.  
"You don't have anything to be sorry for." He sighed. "This is not your fault. This is not something we can control. But we're going to beat it. We have to beat it. We don't have any other choice." He whispered. "It's going to be just fine. You'll see. We'll make it through. We always do."


End file.
